Thursday, December 6, 2007

Nostradumbass strikes again! …

Nice guess on Andruw Jones yesterday eh?

Ah well, I’ve told Mike Gill on numerous occasions that he ask me to prognosticate at his own risk. There’s not much to say about the Jones’ signing; the Dodgers made a good deal--if he reverts to form, they have a bargain, if not, they’re not tied into a long obligation.

I guess Johan Santana ain’t a member of the Red Sox either--two for two!

Trust me, call me up, ask for stock tips, do the exact opposite, and cut me a five percent commission--we’ll both be rich.

Moving on …

I really should update my personal archives; my MSN column dealing with Raines’ Hall of Fame candidacy is up. My boss Scott entitled it Tim Raines: Worthy Hall-of-Famer--he gets full marks for directness. I shouldn’t tease him like that; the guy is unbelievably overworked and his family has been dealing with some serious medical issues. Do me a favour, put in a good word to your deity of choice for him. I’m often amazed how good people just can’t catch a break.

Once again--hang in there guy; 2008 is almost here. I appreciate your hard work in keeping me presentable. If you like, I can put you in touch with the editing staff at THT or Dave Studeman and you can compare notes. My next MSN column will consist of me whining about J.P. Ricciardi’s absence at the winter meetings.

Oh, he was there? My bad.

Speaking of previews, tomorrow I’ll be ranting further about the Veterans Committee’s failure to elect Marvin Miller. Typical cronyism, kiss up to the folks who were so busy making the game worse for money than the guy who actually accomplished something worthwhile. If Willie Sutton knocked over a bank using a baseball bat as a weapon, you could expect to see him on the ballot in 2009.

I was going to write a nasty, vitriolic piece about Marlins: Stadium woes led to trade. Adding to the hilarity was this tidbit: Marlins trade Rule 5 Draft pick for cash. I’ll save the major broadsides for next week’s THT column--it’s probably what I’m best known for; well, that and suggesting replacement-level hitters should bunt occasionally with men and nobody out to stay out of the double play. I would like to go on the record about this one point: I’ve read in cyberspace that I hate the Florida Marlins.

Not true, not by a longshot. I’ve enjoyed watch the talent that the Marlins have produced. The 2003 team was a joy to watch. Larry Beinfest may well be near the top among major league G.M.s. I have never been shy in expressing my admiration for his fine work. What I hate is Marlins ownership … I saw them actively destroy any last hope for Montreal Expos fans. I know how they operate, they are worse than Bud Selig and Scott Boras combined and compounded. They should never, ever be allowed to own another major league franchise. They are right down there with William Cox, Charles Comiskey, and Arnold Johnson as being among the worst owners the game has had the misfortune of foisting upon a city.

A phrase I like to toss around here applies well to both: “fiscal succubi.” They wait until they think you are oblivious and they swoop in and screw you out of every last penny. Then they will return and try it again and again since they can never be satiated. You cannot be in contact with them and not feel defiled somehow.

If you don’t believe I’m sympathetic to the Marlins plight, surf over to Fish Chunks where I occasionally commiserate with them over their ownership situation. Here is a team that has won two World Series seven years apart but has dealt with the fans and region in such incredible bad faith that they still stay away. Their next decent owner will be their first. They have had one long collection of welfare queens who demand to have their pockets filled with ill-gotten gold. Don’t forget, while John Henry is well liked in Boston he said he couldn’t afford to find private financing to make good on his promise to build a stadium himself in South Florida. A few years later, he miraculously was able to cobble together $700 million to buy the Red Sox.

Rest assured Marlins fans--I would love to see a responsible owner come in and build up the market. You are not bad fans--you are people who have too much self-respect to remain in an abusive relationship. I hope one day you get treated with the respect you deserve. I never took the ripping you gave me a few years back personally after I wrote Blackmail Black Knights and Black Humor and Dumb And Dumber in the spring of 2005. I felt the same way you did back then during Jeffrey Loria’s early tenure with the Expos when we dreamt of Labatt Park and a new era of Montreal baseball.

I’ve rambled enough for tonight. I may or may not deal with the steroid suspensions handed out to Jose Guillen and Jay Gibbons tomorrow, but one wag at Baseball Think Factory was livid over the Gibbons decision. He felt it wasn’t long enough--he was an Orioles fan of course, I guess it’s pretty easy to develop a sense of gallows humour after dealing with Angelos and Sons who may soon be rubbing shoulders with Loria and Samsonuvabeeyatch in baseball ignominy.

Best Regards


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